Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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