the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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