just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize