I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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