so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
