A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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