i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
