Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Randomize
