Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
