Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize