the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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