sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
