I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
