like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
