Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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