You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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