bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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