I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
