I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
