someone threw a dead crab at me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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