pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize