No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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