i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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