Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
