1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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