I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
