I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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