dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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