If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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