well I can't set my house on fire every night
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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