Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
