don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
