Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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