normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
