When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
