so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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