just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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