this must be what syphilis tastes like
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
