Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
