That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
