New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
