therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
