somebody snuck up and got me drunk
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize