It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize