He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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