i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
