I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
