clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
