Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
