Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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