Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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