I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its not stalking. its research.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
