Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've blown a few things in my day
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize