its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
