careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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