My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I currently don't understand fingers.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
