life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
