so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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