LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
