You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
