And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
