I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize