I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
