This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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