Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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