..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize