you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
