fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
