those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
