i just google imaged poop.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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