NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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