last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize