Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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