would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
