She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
