I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
