a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
