We won't sleep together?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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