"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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