somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My bed smells like the plague
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
