i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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